Adulthood

Christmas party this past weekend. Company party. It was fun...music was loud.

I must be getting old.

Anymore, the big question about any party is: do I try to dance?

I am not, shall we say, a gifted dancer. My style varies between spider on a hot skillet and full blown epileptic fit. Since I have the genetic curse of my people, rhythm dsylexia, the art has escaped me.

But during those moments when I can achieve un-self-conciousness, I can have fun. When I can "dance like no one's looking," as the song goes.

Pondering the dance/no dance question, I noticed that there was unacknowledged part of the equation when trying to weigh the possible outcomes. I was wondering, "What's the reward?"

Or, to put it another way: "What will result if I dance at the party?" See, when I was single, I danced with young ladies because I might get lucky. That's not an issue these days, so a prime reason for dancing was removed.

I realized that the idea of simply dancing because it was fun wasn't even part of my consideration.

Once I was aware of that, it struck me that I rarely do anything for the hell of it anymore.

Everything has to have a purpose.

I run for heart-rate and time. Same with biking.

I swim for time and distance.

I go play with Adventure Boy because I should.

Is that what being an Adult means? That everything has a purpose? That spontaneity is a thing of the past?

When's the last time you did something just for the hell of it?